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Showing posts from January, 2018

A Mum-Care Basic

I've had a couple of really interesting conversations about 'care' with friends recently, and exactly what self-care or Mum-care might look like.

My take on this is that it will be different for everyone, depending on what they need on a particular day, or at a particular time in their lives. Just as we look at our kids and figure that sometimes they need a duvet day but sometimes we can push them out of their comfort zone in order to try something new, or some days they'll only eat their favourite food but other days you can slip in some broccoli, we need to judge how far we can push ourselves. As a parent of three SEN kids, I'm tuned in to their anxiety and 'triggers' to a degree that some have jokingly called supernatural and others have dismissed as coincidence, but it's real and it's all through fear of What Might Happen if I miss the signs of need. So why on earth are we Mums so utterly hopeless at applying this sort of awareness to ourselves?…

The Mum-Person

Once upon a time there was a Person. She had a load of hang-ups and was a bit complicated, like most People, but she also had dreams and when she got an idea into her head, she would pursue it. Then the Person got married. She was still the Person, but kind of a Person with Benefits, and, well, A Mortgage. She was pretty happy and has the photo albums to prove it, although, as with all young married People, she probably didn't fully appreciate how free she was at that time. There were some sadnesses that haunted her, but also made her grasp life to the fullest, which is how she had come to marry someone in the UK rather than worrying about the details of having her roots - her family, her history, her culture and, even more seriously, her favourite foods - in New Zealand. (Pineapple Lumps and Bluebird Chips are easy to post, after all, and then a Kiwi food shop opened up just 5 minutes from her front door in Shepherd's Bush. All was well.) Then she became a Mum, which was the …