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Where have I been??

Hello everyone, after a long absence!

So where have I been?

Living down an anxiety hole of my own creation.

My last blog (90daysdrydreamingofpimms.blogspot.com) practically wrote itself, as I was keeping track of a 90 day challenge, and the whole effort was linked to a charity that I could talk about for years - whether or not anyone would listen. This blog started because I didn't want to stop writing, and people asked me if I planned to keep going, but it felt weird to keep writing as 'The 90 Days Mum', as 90 days had been and gone. But all of a sudden I felt like an imposter. Who was I to talk about 'Mum-Care' when I was so singularly rubbish at it myself?

So here are some of the things I thought I needed to do:

  • Real ALL the self-care books (or at the very least, one).
  • Find the perfect solution for time management for Mums.
  • Fill the freezer with batch-cooked healthy food.
  • Courses! All the courses! About everything!
  • Declutter seven years' worth of rubble from my home - and try again to read Marie Kondo without swearing at the book.
  • Hoover. Every time it might seem I had time to blog. Hoovering definitely crucial - then, oh dear, no time to blog.
  • Buy a book about procrastination.
  • Stop procrastinating long enough to read book about procrastination.
  • Get generally perfect.
  • Run. All the time. Do a marathon easily. And walk every day to clear my head.
  • Mediation, mindfulness, breathing. Surely I couldn't write about Mum-Care without knowing about all that?
  • Do a specialist degree somehow related to Additional Needs, in case I ever said something about my kids and needed peer-reviewed proof that I wasn't talking out my own rear end.
  • Pilates. Or yoga. Or a fusion. Or at least spend many days wondering which to do and why. And maybe I can find an online course on how to choose...?
  • Sleep like my Fitbit is watching.
So essentially, I felt the need to complete - in a week - a transformation that will probably prove to be impossible in my lifetime, then tell you about it in retrospect. I forgot that this was supposed to be my Diaries, where I tell you about my (occasionally laughable) efforts to not give up on myself, and to find the Mum-Person balance. I will frequently talk out of my rear end, because we learn by having ideas and testing them out. Some ideas are ridiculous. Some work. I see it with my kids all the time - they'll try anything that comes into their heads. Sliding down the garden slide with a bare bum wasn't great (friction burn and scratches), but using the paddling pool water, a hose and some boxes of varying sizes to rig up an irrigation system for the garden on the bottom terrace was pure genius. Those weeds have never been so tall and healthy.

But I digress, as usual. I just want to say that I'm heading back to you all, but it'll just be me, trying to figure things out and sharing what I learn. And sometimes I'll have had a huge breakthrough, only to discover three days later that it was as dumb as a friction-burned bum. But that's life and I'm no longer willing to give up on the Person bit of me, even if it takes a while and some false starts and accidental anxiety spirals along the way. 

Comments

  1. Running?! Seriously?! I am not with you on that one :D Coffee and cake sometime soon?! ;)

    ReplyDelete

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